tooty frooty sunday morning

thank you for off brand cereals.

did you know that if you are silent and still, you may be able to feel the pulsating of your heart beats cover your entire body? it is wonderful. my house is quiet and sleeping. i hear only one bird sing for a few seconds and it is gone. there is a car driving by every now and then. and I sneeze like a honking goose two times. my kind of sunday.


i am going to climb back into bed and read The Siren by kiera cass. delicious, delicious day.

sun sunday

I have mixed emotions about the sun. I enjoy seeing it, but, only when I am in the shade... preferably inside a clean and cozy room. No bugs, no sunburns. At the same time, I want to run in it. Brown in it until I crisp. Leather myself in rays of hot sweaty light. Laugh crash into the ocean to refresh my happily burning cells.

Eh, life.

responsible tuesday

i'm trying to keep up with what responsible adults do...


check the mail every day.
floss twice a day.
re-apply deodorant?


(and, recently: remember appointments you make with friends- especially when you've sent them a color-coded calendar.]

crooners make me smile saturday

the world is changing. and. leaving me behind.

what do i do with this fact.

fact. not to be disputed. not to be argued with. i will die and the world will keep 'worlding.'


where is the reason? i wish i had never been led to think about a reason for existence. i used to dream of becoming mentally disabled. completely ignorant. just happy. but, would i be happy? i probably would be dumped into a care home. left with dirty, depressing rooms and "care-takers". fucked either way.


so, i listen to harry connick jr and wish for the 90's. the parts i wish for. dumb, i know. not fulfilling. but damnit if harry and e.r. don't warm me from my coma a bit. just a bit.


shit.


why can't i just be normal? just happy? ignorantly happy?


i am snapping out of it. it is taking a few years. has been. i want to snap out of it. i am working to snap out it.


le sigh.

cock a doodle doo saturday

"grab my cock. as i walk. grab my butt. in a rut."

songs my husband sings while prancing around in the morning.

yup.

all mine.

wednesday of nothing unimportant

i'm having a love-hate relationship with these wasabi potato chips tonight. do i love them? I DON'T KNOW!

i want life to slow down. i've been listening to the song "combinations" by eisley. over and over and over this week.

i do not know how to live. i have only known broken heart living. my heart isn't broken anymore.

MY HEART IS NOT FUCKING BROKEN ANYMORE!!!! IT'S FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE FANTASTIC WHAT THE FUCK AMAZING WHAT DO I DO NOW!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!

i am lost. not broken hearted.

now, i am lost in the What Now.

just add water sunday

I am thankful that I married a man whom let's me be un-bathed for almost a week. He's just sitting in his soccer shorts and a t-shirt playing a video game while his stinky wife chooses to hold off bathing for a while. Sitting on the couch together, stinky and sleepy. I am extra glad that I married a man whom will sniff my armpits and my scalp when I really want him to. Hahahaha!!! He laughs with me!!!