i just ate a hunk of cheese. by hunk, i mean the size and thickness of my fist. i have also been drinking orange juice from the jug and am on my way to the kitchen for another 1.75 liters.
this means something is eating me. what is it? i'm not sure yet. this is the beginning stage. i have come to recognize (in this exact moment) that i eat obnoxious amounts of food when my heartmindself- for lack of a better term- is about to go apeshit.
so, fuck rebellion- i am soaking up my crazy sauce and waiting for the monsoon.
it's been awhile since my last blowthefuckupandbecomefireworks intrapersonal experience. i have been doing better. growing up in little ways. not staying in bed and going to work later when i could. putting my toothbrush away EVERY time, exactly where it was before. little things that show i am gaining stability.
whatever this is that is inducing consumption of fine cheese in large quantities, this is bringing me closer to stability.
good.
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