Holy Shit Thursday

I have a gym membership. I go, treadmill it out for an hour and then swim it out for an hour- wash up and I'm done. Since cat was at the groomers for 4 hours I was gonna shake my touchas at the gym til he was done. Right.

I increased my speed and incline today- feelin' good. My purple love iPod cranked out my workout mix (which I will add at the end here). The first 30 minutes had me happily sweating and breathing deeply- the norm. Well, I figured I would step it up and jog for 5 minutes. It was tough during the last minute but I pushed through and felt good...for about 1 second. Then I pretty much tried not to die.

I thought the sinking into oblivion feeling would dissipate once I slowed down- nay. I've had this happen twice before- once with food poisoning and once with being overheated. Let me break it down for you.

The muscles in my neck tighten, as do the muscles in the back of my head. My hearing starts to fade- like someone is slowly placing a fish bowl over my face; with a far off electric humming sound joining in. Next, my eyesight sucks in to tunnel vision and then I pass out or puke or both.

Once I realized my hearing was not recovering and my eyesight was being sucked through a straw I peaced out of that machine and tried to walk it off. I started to lose control of my breathing and my eyes were still going black. Well, the only thing to do at that crossroads is say shit over and over again until you can breath properly; it seemed to help. Once I could semi-breathe in a rhythm, I made myself get down the stairs to the main floor, if I was going to pass out in spite of myself; all the while quietly chanting my four letter mantra. I couldn't let myself be that kid- the kid that passes out at the gym- all sweaty and gross...I refuse!

I made it back to the women's locker room with my eyes finally pulling back around. I paced the tile floors with my arms over my head- the breathing thing was still eluding me. I finally doused my face in cold water for awhile and got a hold of myself. WTF; I can't believe I almost passed out in a public place over a 5-minute jog at 4mph on a 1.5 incline on an f'ing treadmill. How embarrassing. Who does that? (my lame ass)(hahaha!)

Well, I gave unconsciousness the finger and spent the next hour on my abs and arms- with plenty of breathing breaks. Gumption-1: Embarrassment and Death- 0.

(I'm a crazy person)


For those of you who love exercise without all the death, here's my workout mix:
-Set it on shuffle and you have deliciousness-
(Don't judge, just embrace)

Billionaire by Eartha Kit
Can't Turn Away by The Plain White T's
Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Baby by Barry White
Freakum Dress by Beyonce
Move Yo Body by Eiffel 65
World Wide Woman by Beyonce
Young Hearts Run Free by Kym Mazelle
Sha-la-la-la-la by Dreamhouse
Take Your Time (Do It Right) by The S.O.S. Band
Damn Girl by Justin Timberlake
Don't Stop Me Now by Queen
Pressure Drop by Toots & The Maytals
Angel by Gavin Friday
Faded by soulDecision
Green Light by Beyonce
La, La, La by Jon Secada
Local God by Everclear
Pa' Bailar- Siempre Quiero Mas by Bajofondo
Don't Stop the Music by Rihanna
Summer Love by Justin Timberlake
Under Pressure by Boyz II Men
Track 16 from Dance Power, Vol. 6 II
Track 13 from Dance Power, Vol. 6 II
Tell Me Why by Prezioso
Shoot To Thrill by AC/DC
Sandstorm by Darude
You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi
Paradise City by GunsnRoses
Keep Your Hands to Yourself by Georgia Satellites