Interpersonal update from 'Letter to V'-
"Reading through [this] now I am not in the fear that I was. It is always possible to be 'marked' by this type of encounter, for later, which will certainly be in the back of my mind for a while. However, my soul and spirit and mind are free; I have to keep repeating this to myself (have had to for years). Jesus said to love God and love people. It is an all inclusive package. Why should anyone have love for me if I do not have love for even just one person? Even if that person wants to peel the skin from my body while I watch [which I have not quite wrapped my mind/heart around- working on it]. Even if that person is Adolf Hitler [Dito- it's just so fucking insane! But I believe in it! Ga!!!]. Even if that person is annoying. Even if that person is too loud, too quiet, too whatever. Even if that person is a prowling slave-trader wearing a suit and tie on a walk through Downtown. I think that is all that I can express as to where I currently am. Will I piss myself and cry if this man or anyone of his ilk do ever take me? You fucking bet your ass. [This does not make me a coward. Anyone who thinks so is in jack-ass mode.My body is subject to this world and will do what it will under abuse. I- me, I am free.] Will I have moments of billowing fury when I think of the people that become prey to such as him? For the rest of my life. The Good: I am now equipped with an experience out of which to teach others. Thank God. Help us God. Help us Jesus. Ya... It'll be an ongoing conversation." -Me
Just watched "Julie and Julia." What an effervescent release! A melt in your mouth movie experience to savour on a cloudy day. (sigh of utter contentitude and longing for a French dinner- right now). :)
It was a much needed lift in my sagging life.
Travel and lack of sleep have caught up with me. I have that thing where the passageway which travels from the nostrils through the inards of the neck and down into the cavity of the chest feels like scritchy, scratchy, dull-burning, poky nettle smuck. It is also the type of walking in a state of prolonged and dogged pre-fever. All the while helping my neighbor move from two-stories to 700sq. feet across town (which! I love! And it has been tough only for the fact that I am a cooked slug).
My neighbor. (sigh of bittersweetitude). She won't be my neighbor anymore. She'll be across town in a condo. She'll have new neighbors. I am going to miss having a sweet little biddy on each side of my house. Now I will have only one little biddy.
I am going to wake up tomorrow, sit up in bed and realize that my flowers need watering because my neighbor got up at 5am and watered her flowers across town instead of next door and, in-so doing from the goodness of her candy heart, watered all of mine, too. When she gets sick, I won't know. I won't know to buy her a copy of Good Housekeeping and put it in a party-bag full of Saltine's and Chicken Noodle Soup. Because, she won't live next door anymore. I won't find flyers wedged in my front door for classical concerts for us to enjoy together. I won't wave to her in her window as I drive away to tackle my grocery list. I won't be the one buying her groceries when there is two feet of snow in her driveway. She was the best neighbor I ever had. My very first, best, neighbor. and I am so sad that she won't be there anymore. I am so sad; she's gone, now. She was my friend. My very loving and thoughtful friend. Who is going to be loving and thoughtful to her now?
I know she will have nice, good people to be neighbors with. The people in the condo next to hers have a planter on their front step in the shape of a cheerful piggy, for crying out loud. (sigh). She was just the absolute best and I am going to miss having her around here.
I hope you all have neighbors half as special- for then your life would truly be blessed.
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